I just wanna go home...Around 6-6:30 Finnish time. Mikey sat at the airport with me and we held hands silently while I tried my hardest to fight back the stingy hot tears that threatened to spill over my cheeks...
I couldn't look at his face.
That beautful Finnish face of his. If I looked, then the tears would bubble up again. So we held hands, fingers weaved and we breathed quietly together. Both of us deep down hurting.
The tears spilled.
Down my cheeks, hot sticky tears. A constant tiny river of salty liquid. Over my cheeks, dripping off onto my clothes to leave tiny splotches. He tried to comfort me the best he could. Offering me smiles with those amazing lips of his. A sad but friendly look in his magnificent grey eyes...
We kissed.
Twice only... If I stayed any longer then I would have broken down into an ugly cry. Letting it all out with loud squeals. Crying and crying until I drowned myself in my own tears...
It was nice having you here...
I love you. I love you too...
Bye... Not good bye. I'll see you later.
I left...
And as I walked toward my plane, I glanced back. There he was. Standing behind the sheet of glass... Apart. Again. Seperated, unfairly. The look on his face then was something that can not be explained with mere words. A smile still on his lips. Crooked but there... And his eyes explained that smile. Sad eyes that could have teared up themselves at any point. And yet, he raised a hand and wiggled four fingers in a wave... And I did the same, turning my head quickly to hide the pain.
The plane.
I still hadn't stopped crying when I boarded the plane. Eyes puffy and red, face sticky with tears. I held a napkin in my fingers, frantically wiping the tears away. There was always another to replace it.
The Tears.
Still haven't stopped. I travelled many hours. And still. After arriving to this... Wretched place I used to call home, the tears continue to fall. It's the day after I left and still, I can't fight the tears away and still, they fall... I went to sleep crying, clutching his shirt against me... And when I woke up, I began to cry again.
Emptiness.
The bed is empty now... there is no Mikey laying beside me. There are no arms wrapped around my body and there are no soft hands stroking it... And the tears begin again.
I know
That within time I will have him beside me again. Just wait five months and he will hold me close and tight and the tears that fall will be because of happiness, not sorrow...
My home
Is where my love is. My home is in his arms. My home is in Vaasa... My home is Mikey... Please... Can't I just go back home?
